É engraçado o quanto estamos sempre buscando alguma forma de aprovação das outras pessoas, mas, quando conseguimos, acabamos por menosprezar isso. Vou te dar um exemplo:
Quantas vezes uma amiga sua elogiou seu cabelo e você respondeu: “Imagina, está horrível!”
E fazemos isso com tudo. Roupas que dizemos que são baratas, maquiagens que dizemos que “não é nada demais” e ações que dizemos “não serem mais nada do que nossa obrigação”. Geralmente nem notamos que estamos fazendo isso e essa atitude faz com que a gente diminua o reconhecimento sobre o que fizemos ou escolhemos bem. É bastante injusto, não acha?
É importante reconhecer quem você é de verdade, sem falsa modéstia.
Talvez nesse momento algumas fichas caíram e você está se perguntando: Nossa, mas porque eu faço isso? Tendo a dizer que isso se dá pelo fato de sermos ensinadas desde crianças a sermos humildes, não podendo enaltecer o que fazíamos bem, porque assim estaríamos agindo como pessoas desagradáveis que tinham o “rei na barriga”.
Outro ponto é que aprendemos a ter uma autoexigência muito forte e dessa forma NADA é suficientemente bom. Então não posso receber um elogio já que não está perfeito, já que não foi tão caro, já que não fui além do que eu devia (mesmo quando eu fui, mas essa visão deturpada é tema para outro texto).
E para nós mulheres esses dois pontos são ainda mais pesados, pois a sociedade patriarcal exige mais ainda de nós – além de colocar mais dificuldade para atingir alguns objetivos.
Tá, mas como eu mudo isso?
Perceber que você está fazendo isso já é um grande passo para a mudança, pois te coloca consciente de algo que não é justo contigo. O próximo passo é começar a entender que se a pessoa está te elogiando é porque ela quer que você saiba que aquilo foi bom e você pode reconhecer isso sem problema nenhum.
Para ilustrar, pensa que o elogio é um presente que alguém quer te entregar. Quando você recebe um presente, apenas precisa pegar o pacote e agradecer. Você não devolve com outro presente (até pode, mas não precisa!) e também não diz a quem te presenteou: “Ah, eu não mereço esse presente, não vou pegar”.
Você apenas diz “Obrigada!” e aproveita do presente. Assim como com o presente, essa é melhor resposta que se pode dar a um elogio – isso não te tornará arrogante, mas sim uma mulher grata e que reconhece suas potencialidades.
Inclusive, é importante reconhecer quem você é de verdade, sem falsa modéstia. Só você sabe as dores e delícias de ser você, de conquistar o que conquistou e de fazer o que faz, então porque não aceitar isso e desfrutar do que isso te torna? Recomendo a você iniciar o processo de aceitar elogios, sem medo da arrogância. No começo é complicado, mas com o tempo você pega o jeito!
Você vai perceber como isso mexe com sua autoestima e autoimagem, traz mais segurança e sensação de bem estar. Depois de uma semana, vem aqui e conta pra gente como foi fazer esse exercício, nós vamos adorar saber!
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